I am sleepy. XOXO
Cos’ they’re lush & mysterious, if ya want to know more about me…talk to me babe.
oh, you’re in my veins
and I cannot get you out.
oh, you’re all I taste
at night inside of my mouth.
Hunter S. Thompson
this is my favorite hunter quote, by far
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back she was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.-It’s not that I don’t love you. (via unlively)
you will find someone,
who won’t sigh at words like commitment,
and whose jaw won’t clench, when you ask them to stay.
you will spit out the word ‘love’ so often,
that it will follow water down the drain and into the earth,
and you’ll see your work shining on the pavement.
you will be able to make your rent,
and still have a few bucks left over to waste on this month’s boyfriend;
waste it on yourself.
you will believe in something so deeply,
that it alone will be enough to make your feet touch the hardwood floor every morning.
you’ll laugh at all the moments, which at the time, made you feel as if there was nothing to live for, the moments where tomorrow’s chances of occurring, seemed slim to none.
the thoughts that lied in between your hair and the pillow sheets will finally reach your reality. And every tear stained, broken hearted, night;
will have been worth it.
Wait for it.-Someday & Someone (via seulray)